Metaphor for a Missing Moment

The title is a lyric from a song by A Perfect Circle. A song entitled, "Orestes".

So I've been slacking on blog entries a bit of late. I feel like I've been running on fumes over the last week or so. Looking forward to spring break, to recharging. I'm not going anywhere exotic. Just home. I am eagerly looking forward to all of the little things: home-cooked meals, my dog, my bed, New York radio, the pizza place by my house, all of the small facets of home that just can't be replicated.

So...the last week. On to the topics old and new:

Baker Hall was a fun space to play in. Due to the performance hall acoustics, I didn't feel the need to make effort to project and be loud, and could focus my energy towards the actions and emotions of the scene. By working in Baker, I was able to get out of the mode I had been starting to get stuck in, focusing on being all loud and screaming, and cut through to the emotional truth of the scene.

Hilary's birthday was a blast. It was good to get together with friends and actually spend a Friday night doing something other than working. Granted, I regretted it when I realized how much work I should have been doing and how much I would have to make up, but it was worth it. On a personal note, I wound up smoking for the first time since November. I'm just chalking it up to a month and a half of stress and multiple shots of tequila, and moving on. I'm actually kind of happy, in reflection, that I didn't even really enjoy it all that much. Still, after slipping off the proverbial wagon just a bit, I need to re-dedicate myself. I like being able to walk up the mountain without gasping for breath, and I need to remember that.

Wintertime, over and out. A fine run, and congrats and thanks to all involved. You made my job worth doing. I'm happy it's over, though. I'm looking forward to the next projects in my life, to getting back to acting, and to continue to grow and develop in directing. Especially directing. I feel as though I'm just scratching the surface of my directing style, like there's this major epiphanic moment just on the other side of a wall of ice. I can see it, and I feel like I'm tantalizingly close to breaking through and making major discoveries. I'm eagerly awaiting the return from spring break, when I have actors to work with, to teach, and to learn from, and can continue to grow.

R&G rehearsals have been fun, but a bit frustrating personally. As I said in class today, it has been difficult for me to maintain the physicality of characters, especially of late, and I feel like my early work has suffered because of it. I haven't had much energy left by the time rehearsal rolls around, and I feel like it shows. On the plus side, I finally was able to get through a scene with Adam without laughing. Now I just need to keep a straight face with Justin and Tim, and I'll be all set.

The final performance was a relief. I've been struggling with the whole Greek theatre, presentational performance thing, afraid to trust my instincts because they seemed to be wrong. That is an extremely disconcerting feeling, being afraid to act on my actor's impulse. That said, I feel as though the performance went pretty well. I was able to cut through to the emotional core of Orestes' scene, and to find a reason why he was being so absurdly coy at the start of the scene. I had been struggling with this, because my natural instinct was to tell my sister the truth, in order to soothe her. It took a good deal of rumination to reconcile this. If we were to keep going with this, I suppose future work would be done in finding the physicality of the character, to go along with the inner work which has already been done.

I went back and re-read my blog recently. I observed that my writing has changed over the semester. It has become less free-flowing, less stream of consciousness-y, less emblematic of the mind producing it. This troubled me. I suppose some of that could be energy level issues, but I decided to create a second blog. That blog is more for general, state of my brain stuff. Since this blog is already trending towards a more focused style, I chose to embrace that focus and keep this blog more-or-less class related.

See you on the other side (of the break, that is)